So, I have a beau... I don't think I'm comfortable with the word "boyfriend". Although, I am completely okay with being his "girlfriend". I'll probably get used to "boyfriend". ::shrug::
This man is good to me. He's good FOR me. He brought me flowers and Thai food when I was sick. And cupcakes.
He said, last night, that we haven't even been on a real date yet.
And, yet... We're together.
And I told him what D and E said and what my Therapist said about how he should date other women and whatnot. Give himself more time. But this is what it is.
And, again... I'm not going to be afraid of loving... I shall be cautious about how enmeshed we become in one another's lives...
I shall sign another 12-month lease on my place... He told me he's ready to buy something, and I told him that while I would love to help him decorate, I don't want to be any part of the buying process. I don't want to even look at any of his prospects. He needs to do that on his own.
But when he offered me points so that I can stay in a hotel across the country with the kidlet? And followed through with three hotel options? I'll let him do that for me.
He told me he's afraid of hurting me... Because what happens if he realizes in six months that I was right and he should have taken more time? Because he's not over his ex. But I'm not really over mine. (Can anyone ever truly be "over" someone with whom s/he has created children?) Being where I am in my journey, I feel somewhat wise when it comes to this... And he talks it out with me... And I'm becoming a better listener... And it doesn't hurt me to hear him process through it. I'm all zen and shit about it.
I told him I'm not afraid of six months from now. And I'm really not. If it doesn't work out, I'll grieve that. But in the meantime, I will just enjoy this... Learning to love and be loved.
And, no, D... I have not had sex with him... Things got a little hot last night, but no... I'm not ready for that... Shocking, I know.
I giggled as I watched him walk away from my car last night... Thinking to myself, "I have a boyfriend, and he has no ass." But he's adorable. And he's mine. I shall continue to call him Eric. And, perhaps, boyfriend. But, beau, for sure...
Thinking of Kelly on her birthday
1 year ago