CoffeeLady told me weeks ago that if my heart was in the right place, if my intentions were true, that my messages would be received in the spirit given.
And that held true during those first days...
And then I was told to drop the baggage, already...
But some of that baggage motivated me... To do more... To be more... To push myself harder.
That baggage got me to take on the Incline. And not bail out even though I couldn't breathe and Kev probably wanted me to bail. LOL.
That baggage got me to kick some serious ass at that last half-marathon.
That baggage may have been part of what motivated me to sign on for 50 miles.
That baggage tempted me to do something that could have hurt a few people. But it might have been fun and entertaining...
And this thing I've been dancing around for more than a year...
And today, I woke up intrigued.
And realized tonight that my heart is totally in the right place. Anything I did today was motivated by Light and Love. Peace.
And I suddenly sense that something beautiful is heading my way...
And I am open to it. Ready to receive it.
I had an amazingly beautiful day today. All of it. In a town that holds many bittersweet memories for me... I remembered beautiful moments and smiled... I had the kidlet at my side the entire day. I got to be with my dad. His gf gave me the beautiful blanket she had crocheted for me to have in my home. In my home.
And I feel that flutter of excitement. Of intrigue... Of being open to whatever it is.
Because I suddenly realized that this person matters to me in their own right. Just as they always could have if I hadn't been holding on so tightly to that baggage.
And whether anything comes directly from this ClaRiTy that has me all breathless and happily crying doesn't even matter. Because whatever comes from THIS will be beautiful and wonderful.
And I like it.
I feel balanced. And yet... Off-balance. But in a good way.
Thinking of Kelly on her birthday
2 years ago