Sunday, September 27, 2009

RetroMama Kicks Ass.

I am feeling particularly kickass today. Well, not at this moment. But I did earlier this afternoon.

And yesterday.

A year ago, I took the kidlet to cb's birthday party. And I was in a bad place. I was in a place where I was about to get dumped by a guy who turned out not to be worth it anyway. My friends confiscated my technology, and got me kleenex when I burst into tears over the butterfly. I was fragile. Raw. And it would get a lot worse before it got better.

But yesterday, I took the kidlet to cb's birthday party. It was in a different venue. And it never even occurred to me until we were driving down there to wonder if I'd get to see some of the same people as last year.

The guest list was slightly different. Mostly cb's friends from school and extra-curricular activities. The family friends I'd hoped to see weren't there. I hung out with TF's folks and such. And as I sat there with TF's mom and cb's agent, I noticed CB's hot Cuban friend talking to him. Lovely. He doesn't have a kid. Why is he here? I haven't talked to him since two days after that amazingly hot kiss we shared several weeks ago... Which was after a wonderful couple of hours of him sobering up over coffee... Sharing confidences. But it wasn't the start of anything. It was just a moment. When I kissed him BACK. Contrary to what he continues to insist. Ugh.

A few minutes later, he approached us, hugging TF's mom, hugging me, saying hello... I pointed out the kidlet and said, "That one's mine. He does exist!" (Hot Cuban Friend had never actually met the kidlet, apparently.) They said hello and he went off somewhere else, and I got back to my conversation...

Awhile later, I approached HCF and CB and CB opened with "Is this going to be awkward? Should I leave so you guys can kiss?"

I laughed and as HCF and I embraced, I said, "I only kiss.... BACK..." And we all laughed. Awkward moment averted. Ish. LOL.

After dropping off the kidlet at his dad's (where I regaled the Ex with stories about explaining to the kidlet (in answer to his questions) that when the sperm comes out of his penis, it probably feels even better than when he has an erection, to which he replied with reverence... "Whoa... Cool!"), I headed home for a snack before driving to the theater where my uncle was performing. I went by myself. Because I can do that. With no problem.

I got home late, did some grading and slept in this morning.

And woke up in a major snit. Perhaps it was because I'd left my window open and what woke me was my neighbors talking really loudly, but there were other things that were getting to me too. TF got me calmed down via text, and once I wrote out my List of Three, I felt a thousand times better.

And then my Pea called... And we actually got to have a conversation that was longer than 5 minutes. And I was back in the game.

I went and got my oil changed. And no man (meaning The Ex or my Dad) had told me it was time. I just did it. And then I tried to shop for jeans, which was a bust, but I did manage to get a couple of cute tops.

And then I went to a bar/restaurant. To watch football. By myself.

And I sat down at the bar and ordered a cider (got carded, too! Whee!!) and some food and watched the game. And had conversations with strangers. And did a couple of fist bumps with the guy sitting two stools away. And we yelled and cheered (and my team won... Phew!), and I had a really good time.

And I hadn't ever done that before. I'd talked to IP about that. She totally does that kind of stuff by herself. And I never have. But I totally did. And I had a great time. I even stayed after my game ended to watch the end of another game that the chick next to me was into. Because she was so cool. And we chatted a bit and I told her how proud of myself I was that I was there by myself and how grateful I was to sit next to such cool people. She looked at me in awe and said, "I don't think I could ever do that. Just go by myself. That's really brave." And it hit me... That I was really brave...

Who is this RetroMama? This chick who goes to plays by herself? Who gets her oil changed without being told? Who goes to bars to watch football loudly? Who holds her own and can answer questions about what's happening with her favorite team?

Whomever she is... I kinda dig her.


  1. I kinda dig her too...

  2. you do kick ass!!! i don't think i could do the football thing by myself. i get way too loud and i think i'd become very self-conscious. but i do do movies & stuff by myself.
    and tonight, we can do football together :)