Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Limbo.

I need to write so badly it hurts.

But I'm talking about it. And that's good, I suppose.

My work bff stares at me like I'm off my rocker. Wonders why I'm so matter-of-fact about this. She knows I'll be wrecked when it's done. Reminded me that her shoulder will be there when I'm ready to need it.

This evening, the numbness started to wear off a bit. And there's a lump in my throat and my eyes ache with unshed tears...

But I'm walking the walk.

When I say that I love my son the most out of anything, I absolutely mean it. So much so that I'm going to do the hard thing. The thing that will make me unhappy. But it's the right thing. And I will be happy again... Just... Later.

Yes, I'm willing to put my happiness on hold. And I know what I'm risking.

And I'm still getting my priorities in order. And putting off this thing because that's the right thing to do.

Huh. Being patient. Weird.

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