Grief is a pain in your chest.

So, I broke up with Eric. Like, for real.

And that just fucking sucks.

I go back and forth between overwhelmingly crushed and royally pissed off.

I wish I could crawl into his BlackBerry and take back my last email. When I told him how sad and mad I am. Because I felt better when I was writing it out, but I probably shouldn't have hit "send".

Oops.

I was so strong for almost the whole day, too.

I adore that I have amazing friends who say the hard shit. V's words from last week keep running through my head, "You're feeling this way because you know he's not "the one" and you're settling... That's okay, but that's what it is."

And I can't help but think that he WILL BE the one. But, like, in a year or something.

And I knew that almost from the beginning.

I'm going to try not to beat myself up too much over this one. He brought me much joy for awhile. It just couldn't be sustained in its present state.

Time heals.

I just kinda wish we could fast-forward through the crying bits.