I'm back in my hometown for the holidays. Got here on Sunday and am staying through Christmas Eve.
Just over a week ago, we started planning a mini-reunion. Not like the mini-reunions of old. This would be at a family establishment. My only hope was that my ex-fiancee didn't show up this time.
On Monday, I got to have lunch with my IBFF. She hadn't told anyone she was in town, but she made time to meet me and the kidlet for lunch. I felt touched and honored... And I loved that she asked me about a PostSecret that had been posted a couple of months ago. She recognized the handwriting and had meant to ask if it was mine. And it had been. I loved that. And I love that I can be so candid with her and that she's always on my side. And I got to play with her son. And, shockingly, felt my uterus contract a bit. Weird.
Later that afternoon, another friend took time out of his crazy shopping day to meet me and the kidlet for coffee. We hadn't seen each other since the kidlet was a baby, and I've met his infant son three times. We're making a point of doing that. I got to snuggle his boy, too. And, again. That weird twinge in my uterus. WTF???
That night, heard a rumor that one of the mean girls is getting divorced. And instead of giggling about karma and such (which would have been justified!!!), I just was sad for the effect it will have on her kids. Still waiting for the gloating. I don't think it's coming. I never wished them ill. No matter what anybody thought.
Went holiday shopping with Dad. He bought me a CamelBack. Color me thrilled. Of course when we went to check out, Leon's 9th grade girlfriend was at the register. Only in my world, right???
Then came the mini-reunion. And I walked in the door and there was this crowd in the entry. And there were people there I hadn't seen since graduation. People I hadn't expected to see. People I was thrilled to see.
I had heard a few years ago that one of them thought I didn't like her. Because of something that had happened 20 years ago. I had said at that time that I was so over it. But it was awesome to realize that she's a really cool chick and we had lots to talk about.
It was great to be with these people and that there was no drama. Like, at all. And to realize that even though I have the reputation of drama following me, it wasn't really all me. And that was lovely.
I didn't get enough one-on-one time with anyone who was there. But it was enough of a taste to just make me grateful.
There was a moment when one woman asked why one of the mean girls wasn't there. And I kind of choked on my Dr Pepper. Later she would ask about HRT as well. I did choke that time. But it was funny. And when she asked about the stories, I kept it pretty low-key. Not many details. Just the minimum.
I said something about how I'm not allowed to date guys from high school anymore. And was questioned... Mentioned HRT and Leon. And left it at that. Look at me, not seeking that kind of attention anymore!!
This morning, as I made my coffee and broke up another batch of the magical chocolate-bacon-peanut bark, I reflected about how I'm here in this town and I haven't kissed anybody and I'm totally okay with that. I haven't heard from CJ since the night I got here and I'm mostly okay with that.
And I decided it's best for all involved for me to go ahead and go camping with the boys over New Years. The kidlet keeps running in to hug me and tell me how happy he is that I'm going. And I'm pretty damn grateful that I have a plan and can just be off the grid for a few days.
I've realized that dating completely sucks during the holidays and I'd prefer to not have anything to do with it, honestly. I'll start over again in the New Year. Maybe. LOL.
For now, I'll just enjoy the sound of my son playing a board game in the other room with my dad. And giggle over him singing songs like "Walking Around the Christmas Tree" and "The Twelve Days of Christmas... 'Nine babies dancing!'"
And I'll just continue to bask in the glow that was the Light and Love of old friends who knew me when... And who actually read this thing and remind me of just how far I've come...
Thinking of Kelly on her birthday
1 year ago