Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Rain washes it all way...

I need to blog so badly that I'm using a computer I swore I'd never use for this site.

I cried myself to sleep last night.

Granted, I've had a rough start back to work.

But this thing with Clark is getting to me... There's something about him... That tore down all of my defenses...

So, after these couple of days... When I went home alone last night... And cried myself to sleep...

Realizing that I am so ready... For something more...

My marriage is over. And even though Liz Gilbert wrote yet another book that I read just when I needed to read it, I need to LIVE it.

I actually called the Ex and read him a passage from "Committed". And he totally understood why I read it to him. And he agreed that he'd been trying to tell me that for that period of time two years ago when we stood over the precipice that had become our distance from each other and chose to step away.

Holy clarity. That hurt.

But last night. When I remembered seeing my neighbor's boyfriend show up at her door with flowers a month ago...

I realized that I do want it all.

So, I'm putting it out there to the Universe:

~I want a man to bring me flowers. Not because he has to. But because he wants to. Sunflowers are a safe bet. As are tulips.

~He should be a coffee-drinker. And should understand my need for the stuff.

~He should be a reader.

~He should be active.

~He should be passionate. About something. Something that is, at least, somewhat interesting to me.

~He should be a texter.

~He should be one who calls. And he should be glad to hear from me when I call.

~He should have a calendar and be willing to talk to me about which nights I am available to see him.

~He should at least communicate with me on the days when I won't see him.

~He should be willing to plan for something the following week.

~He should be amazing in bed.

~He should think it's awesome that I'm going to shave my head for charity. Maybe he'll even be willing to do it, too. :)

~He should drink wine. Red wine.

~He should like sushi.

I've been meaning to blog about the online dating thing I've been doing... And I've met some great guys. Each of them has had something wonderful to offer. I've learned a bit more from each of them...

So, now I'm making my list. Oh, and that reminds me... I need to make my List... CF will be number one on it this morning, for sure.

But my point is this:

I can and will add to my requirements. But they are just that: Requirements.

I'm done compromising. But, dammit, I'm ready.

So, this or better, Universe. You hear me???


  1. I am sure the Universe is paying attention and will shower you with the L&L you deserve.

    L&L x 13 x 19...

  2. Thanks, Kr.

    Stunningly enough, just moments before you posted, I heard from Clark. Turns out he's been violently ill all week. Oops.

    Still. I'm sticking to my list. And my List. L&L right back to you.